Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
