I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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