Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
