The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
