i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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