Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
