Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
