there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
