just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
