am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
