That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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