but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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