Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize