just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
