is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
i've created a new STD.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
