i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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