maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
