help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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