Porn is love you can see.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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