Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
My vagina is very pro this idea
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
