Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I understand Curling. That high.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
