uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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