I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
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