So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
thus making me awesome and them whores
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
