its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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