Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
