What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
