Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
