I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
please don't ironically join a cult
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