The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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