The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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