I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize