If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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