normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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