aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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