fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
