Where did you get a picture of my penis
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
