Do you still have your period?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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