when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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