some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
