would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
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I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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