i barfeds in our rink
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
