Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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