If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
