She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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