winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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