Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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