did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Porn is love you can see.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
