so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
