just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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