so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize