It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
This house was built for laser tag.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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