yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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