We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Randomize
