she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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