i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
