My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
