This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
