I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
