im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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