Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
