that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
