I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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