I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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