She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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