Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
