haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
