He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
