Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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