But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
