I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
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