'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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